You shouldn't need your Recovery Key to force a Sync with the Sync Server, once Sync is set up on the device.
Is Sync set up on that device? If so, can't you use Sync Now menu item under the Tools menu or the orange Firefox button?
Are you using multiple devices on that Sync account?

computer1, go to tools, set up sync, i have an account, get sync numbers, go to computer 2, tools, options, pair a device, fill in sync numbers, click next,goes back to creata new account / i have an account box, click i have an account, goes to sign in box, wants account, password, recovery key, follow instructions to get recovery key, but never get manage account.

You should get a 3x4 character code on the second computer and enter that code in the first computer that has set up Sync and Sync is working.
Otherwise you need to click "I don't have the device with me" at the bottom to enter the account settings (email, password, sync key) on the second computer.

This all way too complicated. I have synced my two PC before, but I had to keep going back and forth with the three codes, finally somehow it worked. I am trying to do it again and as described I do not get the manage account button. Please give simple detailed instructions that work with one try.

Do you have set up Sync correctly and working on at least one (desktop) computer?

You can only pair a new device if this is the case. Otherwise you first need to st up Sync on a desktop computer.